


I'm here

by umramsay



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Depression, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 23:49:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4119094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umramsay/pseuds/umramsay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian has been away for a day and when he gets back home, something is odd and out of place, he soon finds out that something is wrong with Jim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm here

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy this one shot of mine, I hope you like it uwu

Sebastian stepped into the apartment, dropping the keys into the bowl in the hallway and closing the door with his foot, placing a few letters into his mouth as he did so. He’d be at work for the entirety of the night and most of the morning and it was now late noon, and the apartment was much quieter than it usually was. There was not a sound that could be heard. It was so quiet that a pin probably could’ve been heard from the other side of the apartment and even the curtains were still closed, making the whole atmosphere of the place more dark than normal. 

Drawing the curtains and bringing up the blinds that shielded the window, the light came through and illuminated the living room and through towards the kitchen area, that could now be seen as a mess; bread, cutlery, pots and pans. Everything was out of place and Sebastian couldn’t have help but frown at this discovery. Jim liked to be organised not messy plus Jim would’ve never left the apartment in this way and gone to work, he would’ve cleaned it up for Sebastian. 

All Sebastian could do was ponder around the house picking up a few items as he did so in quite a cheery fashion. Normally, Sebastian would come home after work and just be so tired and not want to do anything productive but considering no one was in the house he supposed he could start making dinner for Jim for when he eventually got home from work. Sebastian knew that James’ work was hard enough and sometimes, even a consulting criminal, needed a small little treat or break to take his mind off things. Furthermore, he realised that Jim could become a different person if he didn’t have something to take his bad thoughts away, whether that was sadness or anger, Sebastian always tried his best to make Jim happy. Because Jim’s happiness was Sebastian’s number one priority over everything and Sebastian would never forgive himself if James hurt himself in anyway because he wasn’t there for him. 

However, he was going to make dinner for him and it would be one of Jim’s favourite dishes to make him extra pleased and relaxed. Sebastian reached into the cupboards for the ingredients to make the dinner. On the top of the shelf there was also a cake mix which Sebastian would most likely use soon because he loved any opportunity to bake or cook and work his magic in the kitchen. 

Reaching for the pasta and sauce, followed by the meatballs he started to prepare them in the pan. Putting the pasta into some hot water and letting the water boil, and emptied the sauce into the other pan dropping a wooden spoon into and mixing salt and pepper to it, to make the flavour burst. He then pre-heated the oven and put the meatballs into the oven and let them cook, setting a timer. Walking into the living room he looked at his phone to see if Jim texted him at all but yet nothing and it was later than usual, and it’s not as if Sebastian was worried about the criminal because he knew that Jim was more than capable of getting home and out of trouble but it was late. Much later than normal but he dismissed these thoughts and turned on the television, resting his feet on the coffee table in front of the sofa and proceeding to flick through the channels on his TV remote. Once he decided on a channel, he sat back and watched the show almost fixated on the show itself and he wasn’t one for television shows, well at least when James was around him, Jim hated it. He would always complain that why they needed to have a TV in the first place because ‘it is a waste of time, Sebastian.’ which is something, Sebastian recalls, was said very recently by the criminal. 

The timer went off after half an hour and he padded through to the kitchen, serving it on the plates and leaving it on the kitchen table, sprinkling some cheese over the top and then sitting down with his hands rested underneath his chin and his feet wrapped around the chair leg, phone by his side. Sebastian was now starting to worry because outside it was now getting gradually darker by the minute and Jim was never this late, never. Although, the blonde man knew that Jim didn’t like the constant worrying that the sniper did, he saw no other choice but to text the criminal.

‘Where are you? SM.’

No reply. 

‘James? SM’

Again, no reply. 

Sebastian didn’t know what to do and he did begin to really worry when all he heard was a small groan from the direction of the bathroom and he frowned. It wouldn’t have been thief unless they had a death wish to be invading James Moriarty’s apartment and think they would be able to get away with it. Plus, it wouldn’t have been any of their family members like Severin or Richard because Jim didn’t appreciate anyone coming to his apartment apart from Sebastian, he liked his company even though, Sebastian practically lived there whether Jim would admit that or not. So Sebastian had no idea who it would be and it wouldn’t have been James because he was still at work and he would’ve told Sebastian that he was home and he was in the shower, right?

He raised from his seat and grabbed his gun from the side and held it behind his back making his way up to the bathroom door and again, as he got closer he heard another groan but this one sounded more familiar, more like James. 

Dropping the gun to the floor he raced up to the door and knocked on it firmly, “James? Are you in there?” all of a sudden all Sebastian could feel was both guilt, anger and the feeling of anxiety surging through him. 

A groan in response. 

“If you can, move away from the door, okay? I’m going to bust in.” he moves to wall on the other side of the hallway, ready to bust through the door, as he had already checked if the door was actually open and to his discontent, it wasn’t. 

He ran towards the door shoulder first and at the first budge he opened the door and the sight before his eyes was horrific, something he hadn’t witnessed from Jim before. 

Jim’s body was laying against the cold white tiles of the bathroom, his now very pale skin almost blending in with the colour of the floor. His lips an icy blue colour and his eyelids lowering and flickering across his eyes. The colour of red now contrasting with the white and making it almost hard to see properly. Sebastian could tell he was trying to talk to him but he couldn’t, he was too weak and beaten down. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay” he runs over to him and grabs a few towels that are lazily hanging on the radiator a few steps in front of them, wrapping them around his wrists to stop the blood from leaking anymore. All Sebastian tries to do is be as strong as possible for Jim in this situation, it would no good if he was weak and he started crying. 

James tries his best to keep his eyes open for Sebastian and even gives him a brief ghost of a smile. “He-“ which is all Jim manages to say as he coughs slightly, “Hey.”

Sebastian shakes his head and strokes his hair, holding him close to his body and keeping the towels on the cuts that are etched into his wrists, “I’m going to ring an ambulance, okay?” to which Jim gives him a small nod and closes his eyes. 

5 minutes later the ambulance turns up and the men come up to the apartment with a stretcher, which Sebastian didn't even think would actually work but somehow it did and they placed him into the back of the ambulance and rest an oxygen mask on him. Sebastian reaches out for Jim’s hand and squeezes it as they make their way to the hospital. 

Once they arrive at the hospital they take Jim away to get him prepared for how ever long he has to be in the hospital which means a long wait for Sebastian. As time ticks on all he notices himself doing is clock watching and thinking about all the blood and the cold dinner on the table at home. Sebastian told himself he couldn’t cry, Jim wouldn’t like that, Jim wouldn’t appreciate tears from the sniper nor would he appreciate pity. But that’s all Sebastian wanted to do right now, he couldn’t be strong all the time, one day he had to break and this was today. Everything had been so good until now, and it was like his whole world had just fallen apart in front of his eyes. 

He couldn’t handle it inside much longer so he went outside and lit a cigarette, sitting down on the wall, shaking due to the events that had just presented themselves and the lack of nicotine in his body. Nervousness was showing, sentiment was showing and the emotions were showing. Things that Jim told him not to have, and especially not towards him. However, as Sebastian sat on the wall, taking long and hard drags he couldn’t help but cry. It wasn’t a loud cry nor was it dramatic but it was quiet and sad. All the guilt had finally caught up with him. How didn’t Sebastian realise that the house was too quiet to be actually empty and why didn’t he hear Jim as soon as he walked in or the fact that the kitchen was messy, all the signs were there yet Sebastian didn’t even care to notice. 

It was all his fault, right? if he was there in the day or he was there earlier this would have never happened and Jim wouldn’t be almost dying in an hospital bed, right? 

These were some of the questions running throughout the snipers mind but as he finished his cigarette he stepped back inside and sat down in the waiting room, again clock watching. It had been an hour since they first stepped into the hospital and the nurse said she would call Sebastian in when ‘everything was ready and Jim is stable’ yet, they hadn’t called him yet. 

Another 30 minutes, and finally the nurse stood out of the room and walked over to the waiting room, “Is anyone in here a relation to James Moriarty?”.

Sebastian rises from his chair and walks over, “He’s erm yes, I am”. he shifts from one foot to the other and fiddles with his hands. 

“Well, Sir, he’s as stable as we can make him but I’m sorry to say he’s lost a lot of blood.” she sighs sadly and starts to walk down the hall, “We have done everything in our power to make sure he’s at least content with his arrangements. But you can go in and see him, if you like?” she opens the door and smiles slightly. 

Sebastian nods and walks in with a slight twitch in his leg and looks up at Jim, “James?” he says in a small voice. 

“Moran.” he says with his eyes closed and a tiny smile again, ghosting across his face. 

“How are you feeling?” he walks over to the chair beside the bed that James is lying in. James is covered in tubes and now his arms are all tidy and clean, bandages to cover them. 

He moves his head to look over at Seb, “Me? fine, always fine. H-How are you?” Jim could tell that Sebastian had been crying due to the puffiness of his eyes and the redness of his cheeks but he wasn’t going to say anything, he didn’t mind actually. He liked that someone cried over him and even though he would reassure Sebastian that he didn’t need to cry and that it wasn’t necessary to do so, he didn’t mind in this predicament. 

“I’m okay.” he replies simply and after a long silence he proceeds to say, “James, why did you do it? why didn’t you ring me and tell me you felt like that, I would’ve tried to help, you know that.” 

“That’s exactly why I didn’t. I didn’t want to ruin your mood with my sadness, Sebastian.” he uses some of the strength he had regained to move his hand to signal to Sebastian to hold his hand, which Sebastian does with no hesitation. 

“I just want to know why.”

“I was lonely.” Jim looks down, “You were gone and I had no one to speak to and I didn’t know what do and I just got progressively worse.” 

All Sebastian could do was stare at Jim in the eyes with the most apologetic look, he just felt like crying again but he felt like he needed to be strong in front of Jim, “I’m so sorry Jim.”

Jim runs his thumb across the top of Sebastian’s hand and sighs, “Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”

He looks up at Jim and swallows, “Just know that I’m here now okay? and I’m not going anywhere, for a very long time.” 

“Thank you, Basher”


End file.
